How To Let Go Of Negativity On Social Media and The Blogosphere

It more difficult to stay positive on social media and the blogosphere these days when you are bombarded by negative feelings and ideas on a daily basis. I have recently seen many posts about how blogging is changing (for the worse), the Instagram algorithm sucks and bloggers are liars. Basically, the rhetoric is that blogging is all round more difficult. I have also witnessed a couple of twitter fights among people and Snapchat stories where someone is calling another person names and asking for a fight. It is all very exhausting to witness.

Regarding the blogging situation, I personally believe that blogging and it’s platforms must eventually evolve and change. There may be a few growing pains while that happens, but there is always room to thrive in any environment!

I’m a generally positive person so I always try to avoid negativity at all costs now. Be it negative thoughts like anger and envy or just negative people and posts in general. It is not always easy, but here are some of the tactics I had to adopt to let go of that negativity!

Out of sight, out of mind.

Everyone knows the best way to get over something is to cut all contact. I think the same can be applied in dealing with negativity and negative emotions. Everything I ingest on social media is done in a conscious manner now because I know how slippery that slope is. One minute you’re admiring the beautiful vacation someone took and the next minute you’re wallowing in self-pity about how shitty your own life is.

Everyone is living different lives and it is very clear that social media is not what it seems. Most people show you the best versions of themselves. When they are laughing and looking their best in beautiful places. They don’t show you their tears, fears or struggles. Everyone has bad days. The person who’s life you think is perfect may be dealing with worse problems than you. For this reason, it’s very important to not compare your life at face value to other people on social media.

I also periodically assess how the people I follow make me feel. Do I feel inspired following this person or does it bring up negative feelings on my part? If I feel negative feelings, I unfollow that person immediately. It doesn’t matter if they are a stranger I met from the internet or a close friend. Surrounding myself with people who bring positive thoughts and feelings is important for my mental health and well-being! I believe our mental health is something we should not take lightly.

Ignore, Block, Repeat.

Whenever we are attacked by someone on the internet it’s very easy to think of a witty reply and lash out to the person that hurt you. But when you take a few seconds to assess the situation you realise that the people who are attacking you are probably projecting their insecurities on you. Once you’re aware of this, it is easier to let things go.

I have thankfully not been in any major conflicts on social media for a while now but I realised that they dwindled down once I started ignoring the people that attacked me. Arguing is a massive waste of time to me. It hardly goes anywhere and you can end up saying something very hurtful. I now have the policy of if I get attacked, I will silently block the person. It preserves my dignity and cuts the conflict short.

However, some things are harder to ignore than others and in that case, I’m an advocate for standing up for yourself. But it’s important to pick and choose our battles.

negativeees.jpg

Put things in perspective.

Putting your life in perspective and really acknowledging the privileges that you have is a good practice to adopt. You may not have a perfect life on paper, but there is almost always something to be thankful for. Focusing on the good things in your life can help you let go of the negativity. Also, having a positive outlook in the midst of negativity is a very important.

I also noticed that a lot of the things I used to get riled up about on the internet are really not that important in the grand scheme of things. Once I realized this, I stopped letting things get to me or offend me and just let it go!

Take a breather

Designating time to focus on you is great. It refreshes you and may make social media seem not so negative anymore. I have at least one day of the week where I don’t open my Instagram or WordPress. This activity became important to me after my Social Media Detox. It allowed me to forget the world of ones and zeros and really be in the moment. Sometimes it’s difficult to leave because there is this irrational a fear of missing out, but I always try to remember that it will be there when I come back!

Final Tip: Follow loads of meme accounts on Instagram, you will not be disappointed. LOL

I hope you enjoyed reading this post! I would love to know what your thoughts are on negativity in general.

How do you feel about negative posts and negativity on social media?

How do you deal with that negativity?

Instagram ~ Facebook ~ Pinterest Twitter

 

What One Year Of Blogging Has Taught Me

I recently got a notification from WordPress that I have been blogging for a year now! Technically, I created my blog a year ago but I only started actively blogging 3 months ago. I have experienced a lot of ups and downs during these past 3 months and I think it would be lovely to share what I have learnt about blogging so far. I hope you enjoy!

Blogging is not as easy as it seems

That perfect flatlay and glamorous pictures you see on blogs have probably been taken a 100 times to look just right. Before I started blogging I used to think people just empty the contents of their makeup bag and everything falls beautifully in place. I didn’t understand why mine looked like a hot mess. It takes a lot of effort and hours to plan posts, write it, take pictures and promote it. Blogging can easily turn into a full-time job! You have to be consistent and diligent and always try to improve. It’s not easy, but definitely worth it. So far!

If something isn’t working, don’t be afraid to scrap it

When I first started blogging I couldn’t decide on what niche I wanted to blog about. So I started with many niches like music, movies, books, fashion, makeup, travelling and lifestyle. I started posting and I quickly realised that people did not like reading my independent posts about music, books and movies. So I deleted all those posts and I slowly dwindled down my topics to things that people liked. I listened to my readers and acted accordingly.

I think its okay to not blog about everything. Even if you love everything like me LOL. I think my opinion is more valued in certain areas than others, which is great! It allows my thoughts to be more targeted and my quality to be better. Don’t be afraid to adapt especially when you are starting out because you have we have so much lee way for change now!

highlights.jpg

Shamelessly promote your blog

A lot of people feel shy about sharing their blog posts but it is one of the best ways for people to find your blog. I am not saying that you should be that annoying, spammy blogger, but doing things like sharing your posts once social media and leaving your blog link at the end of comments is a great way to get your blog out there. If you feel uncomfortable about sharing your posts with people you know you can carve out an entirely separate community of strangers to share your posts with. For example, I now have a separate Instagram page where I am striving to grow a community of like-minded people different from followers on my personal page!

blog

Interact with the blogging community

Interacting with other people is so important when you’re a blogger. It’s not enough to just publish posts and sit and wait for something to happen. I make sure to reply to every single person that took the time to comment on my post. Doing this helps build relationships with the people that read your posts! Also, do not be afraid to comment on other people’s posts, share their blog post, like them or follow them on Instagram. When you comment, try to leave thoughtful comments. Simply commenting “Nice” or “Great post” does not count. It shows you didn’t read a word of the persons post. Truly interacting really makes your blogging experience so much better!

This is one of the best tips for growing any social media site; posting often, striving for quality content and interacting with the community!

 Be yourself

I think it’s perfectly okay to derive inspiration from another person because almost everything under the sun has been blogged about. I think what makes a post unique in particular is the fact that it is your unique perspective. That is why it is important to be honest and be yourself. It is so exhausting trying to act like something you are not and I think people can pick up on that. On the flip side, it is so liberating when people embrace unique aspects of your personality that you may think are weird or not good enough. That can be what makes you stand out!

IMG_3845.jpg

I’m definitely still a baby blogger and I have no idea what I am doing 99.999 percent of the time so these are just some of the things I have learnt so far! I also have no idea what I’m going to do when I move into a self hosted site. And what in heavens name is SEO and HTML? This is uncharted territory. LOL wish me luck and fingers crossed that I appear graceful admist the madness!

What has blogging taught you?

Instagram ~ Facebook ~ Pinterest Twitter

Handling Rejections and The Power of Positive Thinking

When I was applying for my undergraduate degree in Biomedical Science, I was rejected by 4 out of the 5 schools I applied to. To make matters worse, I got rejected by these schools one by one until it was only that one school left. It was one of the most demoralising times of my life. I was extremely anxious and uncertain of my future and what would happen if I couldn’t go to school that year.

However, I wouldn’t change a thing that happened. Although I got accepted by only one school, it turned out to be the perfect university for me. Studying in Salford University made me fall in love with Biomedical Science. It allowed me to excel and I graduated with a First Class Honours Degree! (For some context for my non-British readers, my grades were evaluated to be equivalent to a 3.83/4 GPA by WES)

My university experience is just a type of rejection that you could experience. There are so many different things that people go through that are way worse than silly university applications. They are not defined by their circumstances and their rejections. They never let it get to them. They are extremely inspiring to me!

IMG_3708

Rejection

Getting rejected sucks. And it especially sucks when you poured your heart and soul into something and no one appreciates, no one wants it, people laugh and completely ignore it. You feel inadequate, like something is wrong with you and you try to analyze everything you did and what you could have done differently. These were thoughts that crossed my mind on a number of occasions. But during these last few years I have reformed my way of thinking and I have began to adopt a positive mindset. Adopting a positive mindset has allowed me to enjoy life more. I appreciate the simpler things and I understand that it’s okay to try again!

Getting Positive

Call me crazy but I truly, truly believe positive thoughts attract positive things. What you think can really affect the outcomes of situations in your life.  It’s like the law of the freaking universe.

I often draw inspiration from extraordinary people whenever I approach challenging situations in life. As future scientist, I am inspired by scientists that succeeded above all odds. One peculiar example is Thomas Edison: a great inventor and businessman. Most people know him as the man who invented the lightbulb. When he was younger, Thomas Edison’s teachers said that he was “too stupid to learn anything”. He was fired from a number of jobs he had because he was “unproductive”. He also had 1000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the lightbulb. One thousand, painstaking, detailed attempts! Thomas Edison was rejected and experienced thousands of failures before his successes. His drive and ambition was extraordinary!

Rejections and failures are a normal part of life but you  only need one yes or success for things to turn around. In times of rejection, I believe having a positive mindset is crucial because it allows you to handle negative situations properly. Don’t give up!

Have Faith

In Christianity, faith is the pillar of it’s belief. We hope for things that we do not see and things we can never understand.  In hard times, we are encouraged to have faith and hope that things will work out for the greater good. In fact, faith is so powerful in Christianity that a parable says that even if you have faith as small as mustard seed, you can move a mountain! Even if you are not a religious person, having faith allows you to keep your head up high and not be overwhelmed by your problems.

Hope

I always say to myself if rejections happen that it’s not the end of the world. It may feel like it but just keep hoping. Never stop hoping for positive things. Affirm that you will receive them and work really hard for it. Don’t worry if it doesn’t work out the first time. Try again, try harder and in different variations. Above all, hope for the best. Believe that the universe is working for your good and not against you. Hope that everything will work out for the greater good!

How do you handle rejections?

Thank you for reading!

Instagram ~ Facebook ~ Pinterest Twitter

The Art Of Decluttering

I find it ironic that I had a closet filled with clothes but nothing to wear, or a makeup counter bursting with products but I found myself using the same lipstick and wearing the same clothes everyday. I was also surrounded by a room that was beginning to turn into an episode of Hoarders (which is a really interesting show by the way). I was overwhelmed with items around me that really didn’t make me happy.

I had been away from my family home for 3 years and now that I was back, I was confronted with the clutter that had accumulated over the years. Books and clothes that hadn’t been read or worn in years were stacked in every corner. It was so much that I didn’t have space to keep the things I actually use. It was truly suffocating.

I came across a great book by Marie Kondo called “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying” which has really changed my perception of items I keep around me.

Most people are a “I’ll use it one day” or “just incase”  type of hoarder. This mentality makes me keep things that I really don’t need or like when it comes to clothing, books and makeup. I often felt guilty about throwing things away but I felt even more guilty for being surrounded by so much clutter.

After reading Marie Kondo’s book, the single most important thing I have learnt is recalibrating the relationship I have with the items I own. Now I sit and consider if an item I own “sparks joy” in me. Do I feel good, fulfilled and happy using this item? This is how I understand the statement that is used extensively in the book. If it doesn’t, it is better to let it go.

I’ve discovered that I do not need to feel guilty for giving away things that are in perfectly good condition, things I may use one day (which hardly ever comes) and just incase items. We often feel we are protecting the items we own by keeping them close to us but in reality it is the opposite. These items are sitting in a corner collecting dust, often forgotten, not being used. Marie Kondo says “If our items could speak, would they be happy?” I don’t think so.

Letting go of these items gives them, in essence, a new life where they may be cherished and used by someone else. I’ve realised that each item plays a special role in our life; that purple lipstick you never used? It taught you what lipstick colours worked for you and what didn’t. It is time to thank it for fulfilling its purpose in your life and let it go. Those books you read halfway last year and have been meaning to complete? It’s time to thank it for entertaining you briefly and let it go.

This change in my mentality has led me to remove  an estimated three 50 gallon trash bags of things that do not “spark joy” in my room.

I have also learnt how to fold clothes properly. I usually stacked my clothes on top of each other when I folded them, which is a recipe for clutter, mess and crinkled clothes. Now I fold my clothes the Marie Kondo way; vertically and colour co-ordinate. This has helped my organisation and reduced the stress of figuring out what to wear since all my clothes can be seen at a glance.

Sadly, I didn’t take any pictures of my room before I started decluttering. I didn’t realize I would probably want to blog about the process.

However, just to give you an idea of how cluttered things could get, here was a picture of one of the most cluttered tables in my house:

Now tables look like this:

I feel like a minimalist princess. I don’t know who I am anymore. Thank you Marie Kondo. Seriously, get this book.

Now that I have somewhat handled my clutter problem, I am now interested in tackling my style problem. I don’t have access to the clothing I want to buy so I have to wait till September till I can buy a whole new closet. Through decluttering I discovered that I hate ALL my clothes and I don’t really have a personal style. I am now in a long process of discovering  my personal style and aesthetic. I am currently loving a classic, sharp smart wadrobe with lots of white and pops of red and mustard.

Questions! 

How do you personally tackle clutter?

Thanks for reading!

This blog post contains affiliate links. Affiliate links are the colored or underlined links in this post!

20 Things I’ve Learnt In 20 Years 

Stop Worrying, Love Yourself and Question Everything.

In my 20 years of growing up I have learnt a lot of things through my experiences and I thought it would be nice to share them because it could be applicable to people of any age. Here they are!

  1. Humans are complex and extremely unpredictable creatures that can be capable of great evil or love.
  2. Worrying about things you cannot control is a waste of time.
  3. Question everything. Never be afraid to question things that are considered norm.
  4. Always try to see the good in people.
  5. But don’t be naive. Even though some people have good qualities, a lot of people have ulterior motives and may not be genuine.
  6. Try to be aware and thankful for the privileges and opportunities you were born into.
  7. Motivation rarely gets you to complete a task. Being disciplined is far superior to motivation.
  8. Not everyone is going to like you. The sooner you accept it, the easier navigating relationships and friendships becomes.
  9. Everyone has different, interesting and even offensive opinions. Always listen with an open mind and try to broaden your view of the world.
  10. Things are not always in black and white. The whole world is a blob of messy grey areas.
  11. Your parents are probably right 99% percent of the time.
  12. Bad things happen to good people. It doesn’t make sense and I will probably never understand it.
  13. Healthy food doesn’t actually taste that bad, as long as you know how to cook it properly.
  14. Be silly and laugh a lot. It makes you feel better and relaxes you.
  15. Most things are not that serious. When you put things into perspective, will this really be important 10 years from now? If not, it’s probably not worth it.
  16. Be a problem solver instead of a problem dweller.
  17. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
  18. It is okay to be single. It will happen when it will happen.
  19. A lot of arguements are pointless and never get anywhere. Pick and choose your battles.
  20. Cherish and love your body. You may not like how it looks but it does a pretty fucking hard job of keeping you alive everyday.

That’s it! I turned 20 a few months ago and it kind of feels like the age where you aren’t really a child anymore so you should really have your shit together, but at the same time you haven’t fully entered adulthood. I am just enjoying this last few months of the baby-girl life before I become a full adult.

What have you learnt about people and yourself these past few years? Leave it in the comments section!

What I Learned From A Social Media Detox 

It’s very difficult sometimes to remember that it’s just social media…

Hey everyone! I know I’ve been away for so long but I had a semi-good, almost dramatic reason for abandoning my blog and other social media sites for over 2 months.

I think it’s very difficult sometimes to remember that it’s just social media. It literally exists in a space consisting of data in the form of ones and zeros. It can be turned off at anytime, you can control it. But why does it often feel out of our control? Why do we give social media so much power over us?

For a long time I felt a bunch of unpleasant feelings surrounding my presence on the Internet. I felt an irrational pressure to post things on time, post often and be perfect. I felt these feelings particularly on Instagram, where I couldn’t help but compare myself to other people often.

At one point I obsessed over the amount of Instagram followers and likes I had. I even contemplated deleting my account because I wasn’t racking up to a 100 likes. I look back now and I wonder why I was so dramatic. I also had my fair share of online bullies and fights. This caused more negativity to surround my social media. I was tired of it.

I felt disconnected the more connected I became. It’s like I was present, but I was not really there. I also wanted my privacy back. I felt like I was sharing way too much information about myself on the Internet. I had the mentality of “If you don’t post it online, did it really happen?”. I think it’s horrible to think that way.

One day something clicked in my head and I immediately stopped posting on all my social media sites like Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. I also deleted all my pictures from my Instagram account. I went from 150 + pictures to only 2 pictures.

During that 1-2 months hiatus I really had time to revaluate how I want to share and be perceived on the Internet. I felt way better not living on my phone and the irrational pressure to be perfect and present dissipated. Now that I’m using my accounts again I feel what more conscious of how I want to utilise social media moving on. I feel more in control of my life and self. I don’t need to live on my phone and I don’t feel a pressure to have my life figured out. I don’t need to post everything online. Even though I don’t have it all figured out yet I have a clearer sense of where I want to be.

I will still post on my blog moving forward. I love writing and reading peoples blogs! I love beauty, movies and little nuggets of wisdom. I love the community here and think I want to continue moving in this direction going forward. I also can’t wait to catch up on all your blog posts I missed!

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this post!

Have you ever had a social media detox? What did it teach you?

The Quarter Life Crises 

You know how people experience a mid-life crisis when they’re in thier 30’s or 40’s and they start to wonder

 “What am I doing with my life?”

Well, I was talking to a friend a while back and she told me that she feels like she’s letting life pass her by and she didn’t really enjoy her teen years. Now she’s twenty she wants to do all the things she never did because of the FOMO (Fear of missing out) and the fact that she’s entering the “real” world. It is kind of scary…and I can sort of relate.

It’s like we spend our whole lives looking forward to the future. Never really just enjoying the present moment. We are in primary school to get into secondary school, secondary school to university, university to a job. Until one day you’re 30, married with kids sitting down thinking.

How? Did I really enjoy the journey? When is my life supposed to feel like it should?

Because everything went by so quickly you never got a chance to savor it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to work towards a goal and look forward to the future but I think sometimes it’s okay to just sit back and enjoy that stage of life you are in. You may only get it once. You’re young for a really short time and an adult for the longest.


I realized that in some things in life the journey is more memorable and gratifying than the destination. Once you get what you wanted it’s a 5 second euphoria and then you’re like “Okay, what’s next?”. That’s how your teenage years or even adult years pass you by.

The “real” world is also scary because school is all I’ve ever known. How will I cope with never doing it again? Am I ready for it? Did I really make the right career choice?

These are serious questions. However I always try to have faith in the future and positive outlook. Obsessing over a future I can’t control is a waste of time. Why kill myself with worry? A positive outlook is not a very easy mindset to adopt but whenever I am stressed out I remember this bible passage:

(Mathew 6:25-27):

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

That being said pick up a good book, play the ukulele, go out, get some fresh air and just enjoy the moment.