How To Let Go Of Negativity On Social Media and The Blogosphere

It more difficult to stay positive on social media and the blogosphere these days when you are bombarded by negative feelings and ideas on a daily basis. I have recently seen many posts about how blogging is changing (for the worse), the Instagram algorithm sucks and bloggers are liars. Basically, the rhetoric is that blogging is all round more difficult. I have also witnessed a couple of twitter fights among people and Snapchat stories where someone is calling another person names and asking for a fight. It is all very exhausting to witness.

Regarding the blogging situation, I personally believe that blogging and it’s platforms must eventually evolve and change. There may be a few growing pains while that happens, but there is always room to thrive in any environment!

I’m a generally positive person so I always try to avoid negativity at all costs now. Be it negative thoughts like anger and envy or just negative people and posts in general. It is not always easy, but here are some of the tactics I had to adopt to let go of that negativity!

Out of sight, out of mind.

Everyone knows the best way to get over something is to cut all contact. I think the same can be applied in dealing with negativity and negative emotions. Everything I ingest on social media is done in a conscious manner now because I know how slippery that slope is. One minute you’re admiring the beautiful vacation someone took and the next minute you’re wallowing in self-pity about how shitty your own life is.

Everyone is living different lives and it is very clear that social media is not what it seems. Most people show you the best versions of themselves. When they are laughing and looking their best in beautiful places. They don’t show you their tears, fears or struggles. Everyone has bad days. The person who’s life you think is perfect may be dealing with worse problems than you. For this reason, it’s very important to not compare your life at face value to other people on social media.

I also periodically assess how the people I follow make me feel. Do I feel inspired following this person or does it bring up negative feelings on my part? If I feel negative feelings, I unfollow that person immediately. It doesn’t matter if they are a stranger I met from the internet or a close friend. Surrounding myself with people who bring positive thoughts and feelings is important for my mental health and well-being! I believe our mental health is something we should not take lightly.

Ignore, Block, Repeat.

Whenever we are attacked by someone on the internet it’s very easy to think of a witty reply and lash out to the person that hurt you. But when you take a few seconds to assess the situation you realise that the people who are attacking you are probably projecting their insecurities on you. Once you’re aware of this, it is easier to let things go.

I have thankfully not been in any major conflicts on social media for a while now but I realised that they dwindled down once I started ignoring the people that attacked me. Arguing is a massive waste of time to me. It hardly goes anywhere and you can end up saying something very hurtful. I now have the policy of if I get attacked, I will silently block the person. It preserves my dignity and cuts the conflict short.

However, some things are harder to ignore than others and in that case, I’m an advocate for standing up for yourself. But it’s important to pick and choose our battles.

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Put things in perspective.

Putting your life in perspective and really acknowledging the privileges that you have is a good practice to adopt. You may not have a perfect life on paper, but there is almost always something to be thankful for. Focusing on the good things in your life can help you let go of the negativity. Also, having a positive outlook in the midst of negativity is a very important.

I also noticed that a lot of the things I used to get riled up about on the internet are really not that important in the grand scheme of things. Once I realized this, I stopped letting things get to me or offend me and just let it go!

Take a breather

Designating time to focus on you is great. It refreshes you and may make social media seem not so negative anymore. I have at least one day of the week where I don’t open my Instagram or WordPress. This activity became important to me after my Social Media Detox. It allowed me to forget the world of ones and zeros and really be in the moment. Sometimes it’s difficult to leave because there is this irrational a fear of missing out, but I always try to remember that it will be there when I come back!

Final Tip: Follow loads of meme accounts on Instagram, you will not be disappointed. LOL

I hope you enjoyed reading this post! I would love to know what your thoughts are on negativity in general.

How do you feel about negative posts and negativity on social media?

How do you deal with that negativity?

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 700 Followers Milestone! Blogging Goals and Q&A

I now have 700 followers on The Pearly Life!!!  I would like to thank every single one of you that followed and showed support on my posts. I honestly didn’t think I would be at this point at all when I started blogging. It’s an amazing and surreal experience. Angela said something about getting followers so quickly in her recent post which I thought was so true.

I feel excited, but also freaked out at the same time. It is a strange feeling to get a large influx of  followers and sometimes you do not even believe it is happening to you. I feel like I may just blink and it would be over!

Blogging Goals

My blog stats tremendously improved in the month of May. I started my blog on June 2016  then abandoned it a month later. It was March 2017 that I started to take my blogging more seriously. My stats, views, likes, followers and engagement have in turn increased each month and I hope I can continue in this upward trajectory!

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I would like to begin branch out on the type of posts I make. My blog is seriously lacking in the Lifestyle category so I would love to increase the frequency of those posts. I personally love a bit of diversity so I would love to blog about different topics on my blog. What would you guys like to see? I would love to hear your opinion on it!

I also see myself moving into a self hosted blogging platform like WordPress.org soon. I like WordPress.com but there is a serious lack of creative freedom when it comes to the design of your blog, SEO tools, widgets and many more. It has become more frustrating so I will begin to seriously look into moving in the coming months!

I also would love to increase my social media presence now so I am currently focusing on Instagram and Twitter. I don’t know what I’m doing yet but once I figure it out I will make a post helping my fellow bloggers here! ❤

Q&A

I also think it would be appropriate to do a Q&A now since I have quite a number of people subscribed to this blog. I love reading Q&A’s and it would be nice to let you all know a bit about the person behind this blog!

If you have any questions please leave a comment and I will answer it in my next post or next two posts!

Travel Diary: Dubai City Tour

I hit 600 WordPress followers a few days ago and I am absolutely buzzing! Thank you all for the continued support I really, really appreciate it!

Although it’s been a while since I left Dubai,  I’ve finally gotten around to completing the mountain of posts just sitting in my drafts and I thought it would be nice to share this today. I hope you enjoy!

The Dubai half day city tour is a roundup of all the famous attractions and places in Dubai in 4 hours or more. It goes by pretty quickly but it is actually impossible to see everywhere in such a short period of time! The tour started with the driver picking us up from out hotel and taking us to a tour bus filled with other passengers.

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Our first stop was the Dubai museum where we got to experience the history of the city of Dubai. It shows how the people of Dubai lived 100’s of years ago before the discovery of oil that lead to the growth of the city.  There were sculptures depicting how people sold gold, travelled with these tiny boats along creeks, fished and entertained themselves. It was amazing to see how far they had come! Although I enjoyed the museum, I would suggest visiting it on a separate day because it is too big to see everything in one afternoon.

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The area where the museum was located was coined “Old Dubai” because this area preceded the Dubai city we know now.  The difference between Old Dubai and New Dubai is very clear. Old Dubai has beautiful quiet small buildings and not many skyscrapers around while New Dubai is filled with large intricate buildings and bridges with interesting designs. It is a truly modern city.

People always say that each time you visit Dubai it always looks different. This is true because they are constantly building new structures and roads. All the popular structures, buildings and the surrounding towns were all built in less than 25 years. The growth of Dubai is amazing.

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Next up was a photo-op at the Jumeirah mosque. It is one of the most photographed mosques in Dubai city and for good reason!  I would have loved to enter the mosque and do a separate tour but because our city tour only lasted for four hours we were not scheduled to do that.

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Next stop was Burj Al Arab which is probably one of the most recognised structures in Dubai. It is a famous 7 star luxury hotel that has a very peculiar structure, similar to a ship. It has outrageously expensive rooms with extravagant architecture. I would really love to see the inside one day!

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The pictures of Burj Al Arab are taken on Jumeirah beach so there are many people relaxing, enjoying the view and eating. I got this delicious coconut water from a nearby stall in the area. The seller was a man from Kenya who started talking about his sister who married a Nigerian and now he never sees her anymore but she’s balling on Facebook and driving nice cars. He said Nigerians have too much money. It was an absolutely hilarious conversation.

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At the end of the day we booked a dinner cruise on the Dubai Creek. The Dubai creek separates Deira from Bur Dubai city. The boat circle the creek while we are served dinner and listen to music while we take in the beautiful Dubai scenery! I really enjoyed this activity because it was relaxing and allowed me to really sit and observe my surroundings. The only thing that was very a bit disappointing was the food. I don’t think a lot of effort was put into making the food so it tasted dry, chalky and cold.

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All in all, it was very nice seeing Dubai City in a day and it is a beautiful place with so much history. My favourite thing I did that day was visiting the museum. My love for museums is already evident on my blog but is somewhere I would definitely want to go to again!

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Handling Rejections and The Power of Positive Thinking

When I was applying for my undergraduate degree in Biomedical Science, I was rejected by 4 out of the 5 schools I applied to. To make matters worse, I got rejected by these schools one by one until it was only that one school left. It was one of the most demoralising times of my life. I was extremely anxious and uncertain of my future and what would happen if I couldn’t go to school that year.

However, I wouldn’t change a thing that happened. Although I got accepted by only one school, it turned out to be the perfect university for me. Studying in Salford University made me fall in love with Biomedical Science. It allowed me to excel and I graduated with a First Class Honours Degree! (For some context for my non-British readers, my grades were evaluated to be equivalent to a 3.83/4 GPA by WES)

My university experience is just a type of rejection that you could experience. There are so many different things that people go through that are way worse than silly university applications. They are not defined by their circumstances and their rejections. They never let it get to them. They are extremely inspiring to me!

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Rejection

Getting rejected sucks. And it especially sucks when you poured your heart and soul into something and no one appreciates, no one wants it, people laugh and completely ignore it. You feel inadequate, like something is wrong with you and you try to analyze everything you did and what you could have done differently. These were thoughts that crossed my mind on a number of occasions. But during these last few years I have reformed my way of thinking and I have began to adopt a positive mindset. Adopting a positive mindset has allowed me to enjoy life more. I appreciate the simpler things and I understand that it’s okay to try again!

Getting Positive

Call me crazy but I truly, truly believe positive thoughts attract positive things. What you think can really affect the outcomes of situations in your life.  It’s like the law of the freaking universe.

I often draw inspiration from extraordinary people whenever I approach challenging situations in life. As future scientist, I am inspired by scientists that succeeded above all odds. One peculiar example is Thomas Edison: a great inventor and businessman. Most people know him as the man who invented the lightbulb. When he was younger, Thomas Edison’s teachers said that he was “too stupid to learn anything”. He was fired from a number of jobs he had because he was “unproductive”. He also had 1000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the lightbulb. One thousand, painstaking, detailed attempts! Thomas Edison was rejected and experienced thousands of failures before his successes. His drive and ambition was extraordinary!

Rejections and failures are a normal part of life but you  only need one yes or success for things to turn around. In times of rejection, I believe having a positive mindset is crucial because it allows you to handle negative situations properly. Don’t give up!

Have Faith

In Christianity, faith is the pillar of it’s belief. We hope for things that we do not see and things we can never understand.  In hard times, we are encouraged to have faith and hope that things will work out for the greater good. In fact, faith is so powerful in Christianity that a parable says that even if you have faith as small as mustard seed, you can move a mountain! Even if you are not a religious person, having faith allows you to keep your head up high and not be overwhelmed by your problems.

Hope

I always say to myself if rejections happen that it’s not the end of the world. It may feel like it but just keep hoping. Never stop hoping for positive things. Affirm that you will receive them and work really hard for it. Don’t worry if it doesn’t work out the first time. Try again, try harder and in different variations. Above all, hope for the best. Believe that the universe is working for your good and not against you. Hope that everything will work out for the greater good!

How do you handle rejections?

Thank you for reading!

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My Travel Bag Essentials: Dubai Edition 

I am travelling to Dubai! It’s my first time going to the UAE and I am very excited. Whenever I see Dubai on TV it looks absolutely beautiful. I am travelling with my mother and I am very happy I finally get to see it in person. I plan to do all the basic tourist stuff like visiting the Burj Khalifa and having a desert safari ride. One thing I am really looking forward to do is riding a camel in the desert. It is such a unique experience that I’m sure I will always remember.

This will be an extensive post where I will cover my clothing, makeup and gadgets that I must have on this trip so grab some tea and enjoy!

Clothes

 

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In true tourist fashion I will mostly be wearing shirts and jeans. The main theme is a short-sleeved blouse, jeans and gladiator sandals. This outfit is pretty light and will be able to keep me cool in the hot Dubai weather. I also plan to carry a pashmina, to adhere to the Dubai dress code incase I am in a place where I need to dress more modestly.

Makeup

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My essential makeup items include lipstick, powder and eye makeup.  I already live in a very hot temperate climate (Nigeria) so I will easily adapt my makeup style to the Dubai weather.

Mac’s Ruby Woo and Taupe – My essential lipsticks include a nude lipstick for casual looks and a red lipstick if I feel dressy. I am carrying my absolute favorite lipsticks from Mac’s which are Ruby Woo and Taupe. These are my go to lipsticks that look good on any outfit or color.

Mac’s Mineralized Skin Finish Powder – Although I’m going to be wearing foundation, in hotter weathers it is good practice to carry a blotting powder for when you get sweaty and need to touch up your face. Mac’s Mineralized Skin Finish is perfect for this job!

Sleeks Mascara and Jordana’s Fabubrow pencil  – My essential eye makeup includes my eyebrow kit and my mascara! I am carrying my L.A Girl Pro concelear in Chesnut and my Jordana’s Fabubrow eyebrow pencil in Midnight brown. I am also using Sleeks Mascara.

Gadgets

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Canon 600D and Canon PowerShot SX700HS :-  I will be using these camera’s to shoot beautiful tourist-y pictures! I love my compact digital camera (Powershot) for a quick on the go picture but the DSLR (600D) will give you the perfect shot. Unfortunately the 600D has been discontinued but you can get the Canon PowerShot SX700HS on Amazon.

iPhone 6 and 5 :- I will be using my trusty iPhones to edit photos, post pictures on Instagram, Snapchat and listen to music! My favourite travel apps include

  • Uber – Whenever I need a Taxi I usually call an Uber but I will most likely be using Careem because I read that it is used more often in Dubai.
  • Trip Advisor – Gives reviews and tips on the best sights to see what to do when you’re in a destination.
  • Spotify – I love listening to my favorite music on the go. I utilize the offline features a lot when I’m traveling because I may not have access to Wifi in some places.

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Kindle :- Possibly one of my favorite gadgets and best £100 I ever spent, I can download a massive amount of books which will keep me company in long plane and car rides.  It’s such a great investment if you’re an avid reader of books. It is currently £89 and you can find it here. I am currently reading “The Shack” by William P. Young and it is so good!

Those are my travel essentials! I may be off the blog for a week while I enjoy Dubai but if I have time I will definitely do a travel series! Thank you for reading and I will see you soon!

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20 Things I’ve Learnt In 20 Years 

Stop Worrying, Love Yourself and Question Everything.

In my 20 years of growing up I have learnt a lot of things through my experiences and I thought it would be nice to share them because it could be applicable to people of any age. Here they are!

  1. Humans are complex and extremely unpredictable creatures that can be capable of great evil or love.
  2. Worrying about things you cannot control is a waste of time.
  3. Question everything. Never be afraid to question things that are considered norm.
  4. Always try to see the good in people.
  5. But don’t be naive. Even though some people have good qualities, a lot of people have ulterior motives and may not be genuine.
  6. Try to be aware and thankful for the privileges and opportunities you were born into.
  7. Motivation rarely gets you to complete a task. Being disciplined is far superior to motivation.
  8. Not everyone is going to like you. The sooner you accept it, the easier navigating relationships and friendships becomes.
  9. Everyone has different, interesting and even offensive opinions. Always listen with an open mind and try to broaden your view of the world.
  10. Things are not always in black and white. The whole world is a blob of messy grey areas.
  11. Your parents are probably right 99% percent of the time.
  12. Bad things happen to good people. It doesn’t make sense and I will probably never understand it.
  13. Healthy food doesn’t actually taste that bad, as long as you know how to cook it properly.
  14. Be silly and laugh a lot. It makes you feel better and relaxes you.
  15. Most things are not that serious. When you put things into perspective, will this really be important 10 years from now? If not, it’s probably not worth it.
  16. Be a problem solver instead of a problem dweller.
  17. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
  18. It is okay to be single. It will happen when it will happen.
  19. A lot of arguements are pointless and never get anywhere. Pick and choose your battles.
  20. Cherish and love your body. You may not like how it looks but it does a pretty fucking hard job of keeping you alive everyday.

That’s it! I turned 20 a few months ago and it kind of feels like the age where you aren’t really a child anymore so you should really have your shit together, but at the same time you haven’t fully entered adulthood. I am just enjoying this last few months of the baby-girl life before I become a full adult.

What have you learnt about people and yourself these past few years? Leave it in the comments section!

The Quarter Life Crises 

You know how people experience a mid-life crisis when they’re in thier 30’s or 40’s and they start to wonder

 “What am I doing with my life?”

Well, I was talking to a friend a while back and she told me that she feels like she’s letting life pass her by and she didn’t really enjoy her teen years. Now she’s twenty she wants to do all the things she never did because of the FOMO (Fear of missing out) and the fact that she’s entering the “real” world. It is kind of scary…and I can sort of relate.

It’s like we spend our whole lives looking forward to the future. Never really just enjoying the present moment. We are in primary school to get into secondary school, secondary school to university, university to a job. Until one day you’re 30, married with kids sitting down thinking.

How? Did I really enjoy the journey? When is my life supposed to feel like it should?

Because everything went by so quickly you never got a chance to savor it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to work towards a goal and look forward to the future but I think sometimes it’s okay to just sit back and enjoy that stage of life you are in. You may only get it once. You’re young for a really short time and an adult for the longest.


I realized that in some things in life the journey is more memorable and gratifying than the destination. Once you get what you wanted it’s a 5 second euphoria and then you’re like “Okay, what’s next?”. That’s how your teenage years or even adult years pass you by.

The “real” world is also scary because school is all I’ve ever known. How will I cope with never doing it again? Am I ready for it? Did I really make the right career choice?

These are serious questions. However I always try to have faith in the future and positive outlook. Obsessing over a future I can’t control is a waste of time. Why kill myself with worry? A positive outlook is not a very easy mindset to adopt but whenever I am stressed out I remember this bible passage:

(Mathew 6:25-27):

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

That being said pick up a good book, play the ukulele, go out, get some fresh air and just enjoy the moment.