How To Let Go Of Negativity On Social Media and The Blogosphere

It more difficult to stay positive on social media and the blogosphere these days when you are bombarded by negative feelings and ideas on a daily basis. I have recently seen many posts about how blogging is changing (for the worse), the Instagram algorithm sucks and bloggers are liars. Basically, the rhetoric is that blogging is all round more difficult. I have also witnessed a couple of twitter fights among people and Snapchat stories where someone is calling another person names and asking for a fight. It is all very exhausting to witness.

Regarding the blogging situation, I personally believe that blogging and it’s platforms must eventually evolve and change. There may be a few growing pains while that happens, but there is always room to thrive in any environment!

I’m a generally positive person so I always try to avoid negativity at all costs now. Be it negative thoughts like anger and envy or just negative people and posts in general. It is not always easy, but here are some of the tactics I had to adopt to let go of that negativity!

Out of sight, out of mind.

Everyone knows the best way to get over something is to cut all contact. I think the same can be applied in dealing with negativity and negative emotions. Everything I ingest on social media is done in a conscious manner now because I know how slippery that slope is. One minute you’re admiring the beautiful vacation someone took and the next minute you’re wallowing in self-pity about how shitty your own life is.

Everyone is living different lives and it is very clear that social media is not what it seems. Most people show you the best versions of themselves. When they are laughing and looking their best in beautiful places. They don’t show you their tears, fears or struggles. Everyone has bad days. The person who’s life you think is perfect may be dealing with worse problems than you. For this reason, it’s very important to not compare your life at face value to other people on social media.

I also periodically assess how the people I follow make me feel. Do I feel inspired following this person or does it bring up negative feelings on my part? If I feel negative feelings, I unfollow that person immediately. It doesn’t matter if they are a stranger I met from the internet or a close friend. Surrounding myself with people who bring positive thoughts and feelings is important for my mental health and well-being! I believe our mental health is something we should not take lightly.

Ignore, Block, Repeat.

Whenever we are attacked by someone on the internet it’s very easy to think of a witty reply and lash out to the person that hurt you. But when you take a few seconds to assess the situation you realise that the people who are attacking you are probably projecting their insecurities on you. Once you’re aware of this, it is easier to let things go.

I have thankfully not been in any major conflicts on social media for a while now but I realised that they dwindled down once I started ignoring the people that attacked me. Arguing is a massive waste of time to me. It hardly goes anywhere and you can end up saying something very hurtful. I now have the policy of if I get attacked, I will silently block the person. It preserves my dignity and cuts the conflict short.

However, some things are harder to ignore than others and in that case, I’m an advocate for standing up for yourself. But it’s important to pick and choose our battles.

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Put things in perspective.

Putting your life in perspective and really acknowledging the privileges that you have is a good practice to adopt. You may not have a perfect life on paper, but there is almost always something to be thankful for. Focusing on the good things in your life can help you let go of the negativity. Also, having a positive outlook in the midst of negativity is a very important.

I also noticed that a lot of the things I used to get riled up about on the internet are really not that important in the grand scheme of things. Once I realized this, I stopped letting things get to me or offend me and just let it go!

Take a breather

Designating time to focus on you is great. It refreshes you and may make social media seem not so negative anymore. I have at least one day of the week where I don’t open my Instagram or WordPress. This activity became important to me after my Social Media Detox. It allowed me to forget the world of ones and zeros and really be in the moment. Sometimes it’s difficult to leave because there is this irrational a fear of missing out, but I always try to remember that it will be there when I come back!

Final Tip: Follow loads of meme accounts on Instagram, you will not be disappointed. LOL

I hope you enjoyed reading this post! I would love to know what your thoughts are on negativity in general.

How do you feel about negative posts and negativity on social media?

How do you deal with that negativity?

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The Art Of Decluttering

I find it ironic that I had a closet filled with clothes but nothing to wear, or a makeup counter bursting with products but I found myself using the same lipstick and wearing the same clothes everyday. I was also surrounded by a room that was beginning to turn into an episode of Hoarders (which is a really interesting show by the way). I was overwhelmed with items around me that really didn’t make me happy.

I had been away from my family home for 3 years and now that I was back, I was confronted with the clutter that had accumulated over the years. Books and clothes that hadn’t been read or worn in years were stacked in every corner. It was so much that I didn’t have space to keep the things I actually use. It was truly suffocating.

I came across a great book by Marie Kondo called “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying” which has really changed my perception of items I keep around me.

Most people are a “I’ll use it one day” or “just incase”  type of hoarder. This mentality makes me keep things that I really don’t need or like when it comes to clothing, books and makeup. I often felt guilty about throwing things away but I felt even more guilty for being surrounded by so much clutter.

After reading Marie Kondo’s book, the single most important thing I have learnt is recalibrating the relationship I have with the items I own. Now I sit and consider if an item I own “sparks joy” in me. Do I feel good, fulfilled and happy using this item? This is how I understand the statement that is used extensively in the book. If it doesn’t, it is better to let it go.

I’ve discovered that I do not need to feel guilty for giving away things that are in perfectly good condition, things I may use one day (which hardly ever comes) and just incase items. We often feel we are protecting the items we own by keeping them close to us but in reality it is the opposite. These items are sitting in a corner collecting dust, often forgotten, not being used. Marie Kondo says “If our items could speak, would they be happy?” I don’t think so.

Letting go of these items gives them, in essence, a new life where they may be cherished and used by someone else. I’ve realised that each item plays a special role in our life; that purple lipstick you never used? It taught you what lipstick colours worked for you and what didn’t. It is time to thank it for fulfilling its purpose in your life and let it go. Those books you read halfway last year and have been meaning to complete? It’s time to thank it for entertaining you briefly and let it go.

This change in my mentality has led me to remove  an estimated three 50 gallon trash bags of things that do not “spark joy” in my room.

I have also learnt how to fold clothes properly. I usually stacked my clothes on top of each other when I folded them, which is a recipe for clutter, mess and crinkled clothes. Now I fold my clothes the Marie Kondo way; vertically and colour co-ordinate. This has helped my organisation and reduced the stress of figuring out what to wear since all my clothes can be seen at a glance.

Sadly, I didn’t take any pictures of my room before I started decluttering. I didn’t realize I would probably want to blog about the process.

However, just to give you an idea of how cluttered things could get, here was a picture of one of the most cluttered tables in my house:

Now tables look like this:

I feel like a minimalist princess. I don’t know who I am anymore. Thank you Marie Kondo. Seriously, get this book.

Now that I have somewhat handled my clutter problem, I am now interested in tackling my style problem. I don’t have access to the clothing I want to buy so I have to wait till September till I can buy a whole new closet. Through decluttering I discovered that I hate ALL my clothes and I don’t really have a personal style. I am now in a long process of discovering  my personal style and aesthetic. I am currently loving a classic, sharp smart wadrobe with lots of white and pops of red and mustard.

Questions! 

How do you personally tackle clutter?

Thanks for reading!

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20 Things I’ve Learnt In 20 Years 

Stop Worrying, Love Yourself and Question Everything.

In my 20 years of growing up I have learnt a lot of things through my experiences and I thought it would be nice to share them because it could be applicable to people of any age. Here they are!

  1. Humans are complex and extremely unpredictable creatures that can be capable of great evil or love.
  2. Worrying about things you cannot control is a waste of time.
  3. Question everything. Never be afraid to question things that are considered norm.
  4. Always try to see the good in people.
  5. But don’t be naive. Even though some people have good qualities, a lot of people have ulterior motives and may not be genuine.
  6. Try to be aware and thankful for the privileges and opportunities you were born into.
  7. Motivation rarely gets you to complete a task. Being disciplined is far superior to motivation.
  8. Not everyone is going to like you. The sooner you accept it, the easier navigating relationships and friendships becomes.
  9. Everyone has different, interesting and even offensive opinions. Always listen with an open mind and try to broaden your view of the world.
  10. Things are not always in black and white. The whole world is a blob of messy grey areas.
  11. Your parents are probably right 99% percent of the time.
  12. Bad things happen to good people. It doesn’t make sense and I will probably never understand it.
  13. Healthy food doesn’t actually taste that bad, as long as you know how to cook it properly.
  14. Be silly and laugh a lot. It makes you feel better and relaxes you.
  15. Most things are not that serious. When you put things into perspective, will this really be important 10 years from now? If not, it’s probably not worth it.
  16. Be a problem solver instead of a problem dweller.
  17. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
  18. It is okay to be single. It will happen when it will happen.
  19. A lot of arguements are pointless and never get anywhere. Pick and choose your battles.
  20. Cherish and love your body. You may not like how it looks but it does a pretty fucking hard job of keeping you alive everyday.

That’s it! I turned 20 a few months ago and it kind of feels like the age where you aren’t really a child anymore so you should really have your shit together, but at the same time you haven’t fully entered adulthood. I am just enjoying this last few months of the baby-girl life before I become a full adult.

What have you learnt about people and yourself these past few years? Leave it in the comments section!