3 Things That Made Me Accept My Natural Hair

I have had a complicated relationship with my hair. I grew up in a society that did not accept my natural hair, afro’s or dreadlocks. Straight silky hair was right and kinky hair was wrong. Right from when I was little, I went to the salon every three weeks to get a relaxer. Now if you don’t know what a relaxer is it’s a strong chemical that you put on your hair to straighten it permanently. I had extremely coarse and thick hair that my mother couldn’t comb so this was the best option at the time. Also, everyone was doing it so it was not a big deal.

I think most people can agree that relaxers are more harmful than good. The hair relaxers always burnt my scalp (yes, chemical burns on my scalp!!) but I always loved the straight silky look I got when I wore a relaxer.

I never knew what my actual hair looked like. I always had the impression that my hair was some sort of untamable beast that needs a relaxer unless all my hair would fall out.  It was unthinkable not relaxing my hair!

I also thought that people who had natural hair were dirty, lazy and god forbid they had dreadlocks. This was years of conditioning where I grew up where your natural hair was not appreciated.


3 things that made me accept my natural hair

Breaking the Stereotype

The first time I saw a woman with natural hair was on YouTube. Shoutout to Karen aka Glamfun. She looked beautiful, and she looked like me!! Could I really have hair like that? I decided to go natural because I was tired of using weaves as a crutch. I didn’t like the fact that I felt less of a woman once I didn’t have a weave on and felt the need to hide or compensate with more makeup!

It was then and there that I decided to go natural! It wasn’t always an easy journey but reminding myself of these three things finally made me accept my natural hair and love it for what it is!

  1. Your hair is a unique representation of you

Absolutely no ones hair can be the same. Your hair is designed perfectly for you. It’s adapted to your skin colour, your weather, even the colour of your eyes. Your hair has a personality of its own and you should never compare list for list with another persons hair. Using a natural hair typing system may be only part of the equation but just because you and someone have the same hair type does not mean you can do the same things on your hair and have the same results! It will always look different. Embrace its uniqueness cause that is you.

    2. Get preconceived notions of what you think “good hair” should look like out of your mind

I’ve learnt that healthy hair is good hair. Healthy hair always looks good no matter what texture, color or length. Once you remove unrealistic expectations of what you think your hair should look like and accept it for what it is, it will be great! I used to admire people who had long flowing locks of hair and hated natural hair. The self-hatred and conditioning was real ladies! Now I appreciate all hair types, but I have a special admiration for afro’s. They’re just a special breed awesomeness!

On days that I think my hair looks like absolute shit, I get 1000 compliments on it. So never think your hair is ugly because it’s not what you think it should look like!

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3. Stop obsessing over your hair length

When I first went natural I was obsessed with growing my hair long. I always had 16 inch weaves so to go from that to short hair was very challenging for me. I also felt like I had to grow my hair long because my hair had been grazing my neck my whole life and I wanted to prove to someone I could grow it long for some reason. This led me to do arduous things that I didn’t like only because it would give me long hair. Instead of enjoying my hair at every step of its journey, I was always obsessing over it. As long as your hair is healthy, it will grow!

Now I pretty much don’t care about having long hair. I’m even contemplating cutting it shorter because it’s so much more easier to manage! In the end, your hair is an extension of you. Accepting it may not always be easy, but once you do it is extremely liberating.

Thank you so much for reading! If you would like see one of the ways I take care of my natural hair check out my Ultimate Routine For Thick, Curly Hair!


21 thoughts on “3 Things That Made Me Accept My Natural Hair”

  1. We want to see your natural hair! haha. But i agree! I’ve been “natural” for almost 6 years now. Cut my hair 4 times in between but going natural is definitely the best thing I’ve done for myself and my hair. I won’t change it for a day.


    1. Hahaha okay let me search my photos and upload a picture! and thats so cool i’ve only been natural for 3-ish years and I haven’t big chopped again since then. I totally agree that it’s also the best thing i’ve done for my hair. No regrets!
      Thank you for the lovely comment dear ❤


  2. You look beautiful. Honestly, please don’t think you don’t! I love your hair naturally and, also, I loved this post. When I saw it in my notification bar, I was like, what?! But you are an amazing writer and I joined the flow and loved it!
    Do you think dying hair is a way to express yourself? I know a load of people are going for blonde right now but I want to go blue. Like, just at the tips. IDK, but yeah. Ha, ha! LOL, loved this post!

    Jade, xoxo

    Blog: kittyjadeblog.wordpress.com
    And three new posts awaiting!


    1. Thank you so much for your kindness Jade!! The journey of self acceptance, especially for my hair, was not always easy but I’m so glad I’m almost there now!
      Oh yes I loveeeeee hair color I think it’s a great way to express yourself. I think blue would look amazing on you! I had green ombré at one point and I loved it. Go for it! YOLO lool
      Thank you so much for the lovely comment 💕💕


  3. I love this! I’m going through a similar transition right now. From the time when I was thirteen, I always straightened/rebonded my hair because I was constantly told that curly hair was ugly and unprofessional. (Imagine telling a thirteen-year-old girl that about her natural hair!) Just recently, I made the decision to stop rebonding my hair. I let my natural hair grow out until there was enough of it to cover my head, then remorselessly chopped off the rebonded parts. I am now sporting a pixie cut of fully curly, natural hair, and I’m loving it! Absolutely no regrets!


    1. I totally relate girl. Everyone always told me that natural hair was ugly and they strongly discouraged me from going natural. I’m so glad I didn’t listen and I’m glad you didn’t listen too esp when you were 13! It’s really freeing when you go natural plus your curly hair has so much body and fullness compared to when it was straight! Thank you for the lovely comment dear!


  4. Yes! I especially love the part about achieving and appreciating healthy hair, no matter the texture or style. I’m always thinking some style doesn’t turn out well but the world shows me otherwise! Instead of trying to achieve the exact look of a style, finding a way to make it on our own, accepting and loving our hair is so much more important. Thanks for writing this!


    1. Sooo true! That is exactly what I think too. Even though you may hate your hair, people might actually think it’s beautiful. So loving your hair is super important. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! 💕💕


  5. Oh my! Your hair is absolutely gorgeous and it compliments your beautiful skin. 🙂

    I really relate to this post. I went natural nearly 3 years ago mainly because my hairline was suffering. I decided to give it a big chop and start all over and I have never looked back since then. The problem I faced was I thought wearing weaves made me look prettier and having to wear my own hair made me appear “broke” and not in tune with the trends. I’m happy I finally broke out of that because now I love my hair out loud and I enjoying playing around with different styles. My natural hair is versatile, it can do so many things on any given day and still look amazing. I stopped worrying about length and now I concentrate on ways I can keep my hair happy, healthy and well hydrated.

    Thank you for sharing your journey, I hope more black women embrace their natural hair.

    Stay Beautiful.


    1. I’m so glad you’ve broken out of that cycle! I used to feel the exact same way too. And I agree our hair is soooo versatile it can do so many things. Long, short, straightened or curly. It’s the best decision I made and I hope others go natural like you said!

      Thank you so much for commenting 💕💕


  6. Hello, I don’t know whether you have been receiving my emails but every time I post new on my blog I send an email to all my fellow bloggers that it’s out. I always like letting you know because you don’t follow my blog so won’t get a notification. I’ve posted about ten emails and five posts you haven’t seen!
    Sorry about this but I can’t really send anything anywhere else!
    And don’t feel the need to read them, if they’re not that interesting enough for you.


    1. Hey girl, Oh sorry I’ve not been able to read some of your posts! I’m usually super busy with school and stuff in general so it’s difficult for me to keep up with blogs 24/7 because I hardly have time for my own stuff you know? I may miss some of your posts but don’t worry if it comes along when I have time I will always give it a read! It’s just difficult juggling it all. 💕💕


  7. First of all, I love your hair! You’re so right about the social conditioning which we’ve gone through as black women, and it honestly took me leaving my country (Zimbabwe) and living overseas to realise the amount of brainwashing we were subjected to. This post resonated with me so much and in fact, my very first blog post was about the history behind natural hair and how we have paved our way as naturalistas to where we are now. Great post.


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